It’s incredible that there are so many studies devoted to appreciating quality in various fields yet when it comes to identifying a quality human most people are lost.
I’m always drawn to, and find myself close with very intimidating ppl. I think they’re the most interesting because it means they lived a big portion of their lives feeling alone, alienated, misunderstood, and that births a different and very creative point of view.
Birthdays are good anchors.
It’s easy to remember how I was all past birthdays. There must be a special place in the brain that’s dedicated only to recalling them and the circuitry is only activated on your birthday. Even though the day itself is arbitrary since the calendar is a construct, the feelings and thoughts it evokes are very poignant.
As I’ve grown I’ve become much more appreciative of everything around me. People reach out to wish me a happy birthday and want to celebrate with me, they don’t have to. My parents send me flowers and balloons, they don’t have to. They choose to. To be a part of that choice, knowing that I create a strong enough impetus being that I’m deserving in people’s eyes of that additional effort encourages me to be a better person. Every year I feel I progress forward towards happiness and fulfillment and when I envision this feeling, I see this warm light expanding around me incrementally. My brain has been rewired to notice the positive, to understand that this life isn’t to be taken for granted nor are the amazingly kind and generous people I’ve been fortunate enough to have in my life. To know how I started, the darkness around me- it’s nice to notice this natural progress and I’m thankful to be aging and growing wiser.
I’m aware of how much darkness there is left, and how much more space my circle can fill, but for once I can say that that’s not taking precedence in my view. I’m only focusing on the radiance. Rayonnement.